Almost two weeks ago I had the trip to Helsinki. I didn't write a separate post about it, because most of my energy went on ship watching, and about that I wrote in my other blog. If I wrote about it here too, it would've turned out pretty boring to read. I can assure you I had fun though :)
I can finally say I'm doing really well in all parts of life. My school results are pretty okay and I'm feeling better than ever. I work out every day, either run, rollerskate or ice skate, plus the usual long (5km+) walks. About the ice skating - my dear mother found a really good ice skating course offer, and I now go to the ice arena to practice under the supervision of professionals every Sunday. I've become pretty good at it, and I enjoy it very much. And whenever I don't have that or school gym lessons with a lot of running, and if the weather is ok, I go rollerskating, usually doing between 10 and 15 km. And I'm feeling really great.
About school, I've made a decision to switch to the sciences, maths and physics direction next year. I have several good reasons to do it. First of all, the career I'm heading for heavily depends on it. I also feel that I have a really strong background with languages and arts already, so continuing in this direction will not benefit much anymore. I'm not so good at maths and physics, and I feel like I could use some development there. Plus, many people nowadays choose arts and languages, because they're pretty easy compared to sciences, but sciences are always very prestigious and experts of those fields are always wanted.
Since the school year is almost over, I feel ready to sum up the results of changing school. I remember entering the school with quite high expectations, which did result in some disappointment in late autumn, but I'm long over that and I can say I'm actually very happy I changed school. Yes, my old school may be one of the very best in Estonia, and I'm really glad I spent my middle school years there, but I'm just as glad I left. For my personal development, it was quite a hostile environment, I constantly felt unable to express myself, and I learned to just keep quiet. Maybe I would've got a prestigious diploma, but at the cost of personal degradation.
In my new school the environment is friendlier for me, I feel like all doors are open, I'm happy and I really enjoy going to school. If there's one thing I admit that was better in my old school, it was the discipline. All students were very devoted to the studying and there was much more order. My new school lacks that a bit, half of the students don't really care and sometimes the whole system feels like a mess, but that has actually encouraged me to keep an eye on my own achievements and personal discipline more. The feeling that I'm doing well, the new friends and friendly environment really makes me enjoy the process, and I wouldn't return to my old school even if I was asked to.
And well.. now for the big bad "looking forward to" part I always talk about so much in each of my blog posts. Well, the European cruise season is finally on, which means that some beautiful vessels are visiting almost every day. I haven't had much time so far, but I've already picked out some dates especially good for watching. One of them is Monday the 13th, which is also the day when I'm visiting the Finnish embassy with my Finnish language group. The much mentioned Tarja concert is getting close, and so is the Nightwish concert I'll probably see in Tampere. Yeah, that reminds me of...
The big news.
I've stopped the YFU exchange thing I started in December. Although I really seemed to want it at first, and I was quite excited about it, it wasn't enough. When I actually started making the first small steps, I lost most of the motivation I had. I blew the whole thing into a huge bubble, but after releasing the bubble, I suddenly felt I didn't want to do this anymore. It's not that I don't want to go to Finland anymore, but the huge hassle just didn't seem reasonable. I do believe that the YFU exchange is a great opportunity to those who have love for a far away country, but this is Finland we're talking about. I always had a little voice in my head saying "You can do this all by yourself!". I can't really say that I gave up at the first obstacle, simply because I didn't really reach any obstacles. My plans changed, I just didn't feel like continuing.
As for now, the little voice in my head was right. In the meanwhile, I've organized myself a two month stay in Finland, lasting from the 31st of May till the 31st of July. For that period I've set a goal to improve my language skills and to be as active as I can, to meet people, do sports and live a healthy life. Since I will not be living anywhere near the sea, I will, of course, miss a lot of ship calls, but I'm not very worried about that since most of the cruise ships around here are regulars and will call in August as well, plus, I'll be taking a ship I haven't been on yet while I go there. I'll try to blog more often while I'm there.
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